YESTERDAY'S DICTIONARY

• Log On - Make the braai hotter
  
• Log Off - The braai is too hot
  
• Monitor - Keeping an eye on the braai
  
• Download - Get the firewood off the bakkie
  
• Hard drive - Trip back home without air-conditioning on a road with pot holes
  
• Floppy Disc - What you get lifting too much firewood at once
  
• Keyboard - Where you hang the bakkie and bike keys
  
• Windows - What you shut when it's cold
  
• Screen - What you shut in the mosquito season
  
• Byte - What mosquitoes do
  
• Mega Byte - What the big mosquitoes do at the lake
  
• Chip - A snack food
  
• Micro Chip - What's left in the bag after they ate all your chips
  
• Modem - What you did to the lawns
  
• Dot Matrix - Old Jacobus Matrix's wife
  
• Laptop - Where your cat takes some zzzzs
  
• Software - Plastic knife and fork you get at KFC
  
• Hardware - Real stainless steel knives and forks - the kind they don't let you take on the aeroplane
  
• Mouse - What eats the grain in the shed
  
• Mainframe - What holds the shed up
  
• Web - What spiders make
  
• Web Site - The corners under the stoep where the spiders hang out
  
• Cursor - An old man who swears a lot
  
• Search Engine - What you do when the bakkie won't start up
  
• Yahoo - What you shout when the bakkie starts up
  
• Upgrade - A very steep hill
  
• Server - The oke at the pub that brings out the lunch
  
• Mail Server - The oke that brings the post
  
• User - Your neighbour who keeps borrowing things
  
• Network - When you have to repair your fishing net
  
• Internet - Complicated fish net repair method
  
• Netscape - When fish manoeuvre out of reach of your net
  
• Online - When the wife finishes hanging out the laundry
  
• Off Line - When the busted clothes pegs won't hold the washing up.